Goodbye, brother!
by Diva82
Summary: Kurt deals with Finn's death


Goodbye, brother!

It is weird how something like this always hits you by surprise. You are never prepared, you never expect it..._that_ call. The call where you are told that someone close to you isn't around anymore...that you will never see that person again...never hear his voice...never see his smile again. This is something you never expect. When Kurt got that call, he just arrived home from work and had just put his bag aside. When he picked up, the brunette immediately sensed that something was wrong. With Carole sobbing in the background while his father spoke with a broken voice that he only heard once in his life before, it was hard to miss anyway. Two simple words...two words that let everything around him crumble down...'Finn died'. Kurt thought that his heart shattered into a million pieces in that second.  
Oh how he denied it at first...refused to accept this was true...he told his Dad that this wasn't funny...that he should stop joking. Because that was what that was, right? Finn couldn't be dead. Finn Hudson...the quarterback...the Superman...the big guy with the goofy smile and the big heart...the one who always was there for everyone...who always seemed so invincible...his brother. No...no he couldn't be dead. This wasn't possible. Not Finn. Not him. But his father didn't start to laugh...he didn't stop and didn't say that it was a very, very bad joke. And Carole didn't stop crying. Instead they asked Kurt to come to Lima as soon as possible to help plan the funeral and to be together as a family right now.  
The first thing he did after that call was sinking onto his knees, sobbing violently. And oh how he thanked god that Rachel wasn't here yet. That she was still at work for another two hours. He needed this time...needed to calm down. Needed to somehow figure out how to tell her...how to tell her that the man she loved wasn't alive anymore. This was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Kurt knew it would break her heart. He couldn't do this. He couldn't! But he had to. Next thing he did was calling Blaine. He needed him right now...needed to hear his voice. Needed to know he was okay. They talked and cried together, gave each other strength for the moment. Somehow Kurt managed to calm down...to stop crying and fix himself up, before Rachel came home. But no one...absolutely no one...likes to come home and hear 'We have to talk. Please, sit down'. It's one of the scariest things one can imagine, because it never means something good.  
Rachel broke down when Kurt told her. He had never seen her like that before and it broke his heart all over again. He held her tight, trying to give her some comfort. But how do you comfort someone who just lost the person she loved? What could you possibly say? Nothing would make it better...would bring him back...would ease the pain. So he just held her instead of talking and cried with her. They sat there like this for a long time until they had no tears anymore and just were hugging each other quietly.  
Kurt took the first flight home the next morning. His father picked him up from the airport and looked exhausted and as if he had aged years in the short time he hadn't seen him. It was a quiet drive home. And it was weird to enter the house he knew so well. It felt so different...darker...colder...as if some of the light in it had died. Blaine was already waiting for him together with Carole. Kurt managed to stay calm until he and Blaine went to his room to put away his bag. Blaine just pulled him into his arms, holding him tight. He just couldn't help but cry. The next days went by in a blur. He helped his dad and Carol as much as he could and they talked a lot...talked about Finn, they cried together.  
It took a week until the funeral was organized. And then it was time to say the word...the word that is hardest to say...that hurts the most...because it is for good...it is definite...it was time to bury Finn...to stand at his brother's grave and say 'Goodbye'. Kurt held a single white rose in his hand and a small letter that he had written to Finn. That letter said 'Goodbye, my brother...my friend...my quarterback...my Superman. I'll miss and always love you.'. He put both on the coffin before it was lowered into the ground and whispered 'Goodbye, brother...Goodbye Finn'.


End file.
